The Pregnant Woman's Comfort Book by Jennifer Louden

Author:Jennifer Louden
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins

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The best advice I’ve encountered on child care is to consider not how you can replace yourself but how you can complement yourself. “A caregiver can be good enough when he or she is not expected to be ideal in all capacities but simply in those where the parent needs help most,” writes Melinda Marshall in Good Enough Mothers. Marshall suggests we consider some hard questions when looking for child care: what we are unable to give our children and what we want to give our children. No parent readily wants to admit weakness or, even more horrible, what we are unwilling to give or sacrifice. But by not confronting our own weaknesses and desires we will never be happy with the child care we do find because we have unrealistic expectations for ourselves and impose these on our day care. What if, when setting out to find child care, you considered what your children must have that you are not in position to provide? Don’t let what’s available curtail your imagination and active choice. Instead, consider what kind of child care would benefit your child the most, what kind of child care would fill in where you cannot, and then mesh that with the demands of your work. It’s not easy, but it helps to think through all of your options and make conscious choices.

Constantly remind yourself that balancing work and children is not a question for moms, it is a question for parents. We automatically assume Mom will have to make career sacrifices and changes, not Dad. Changing this fundamental mindset, both within ourselves and within our society, is perhaps the most important step we can take. This work is linked to self-care in pregnancy because as we come to believe we are worthwhile, wonderful creatures, we realize we are entitled to equal treatment as mothers.

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